Demaaaaaand Airbags!

My best friend in Acupuncture school used to do impressions.  One of his very best was of his Driver’s Ed teacher back in high school, who used to urge his students, “Demaaaaaand Airbags!” 

Remember cars before airbags?  Me neither.  I thought about this recently when I was pondering the issue of gluten in restaurants. 

When I returned from India to the west in 1995, I was a vegetarian.  Whenever I went to a restaurant, I wouldn’t even look at the menu.  When the waiter arrived to take my order, I’d simply say, “I’ll have the vegetable plate.”  And when the waiter looked at me quizzically, I’d explain (more or less patiently) that I was a vegetarian; I wouldn’t be eating any meat; and if they didn’t have a menu item specifically called “The Vegetable Plate,” then maybe the chef could put something together with whatever vegetables they had going on in the kitchen, and that would be okay with me. 

Well, I’m no longer a vegetarian, but I am gluten-free.  I rarely eat at restaurants because gluten-free is often more trouble than it’s worth in my opinion.  However, there are a few restaurants I’ve found where I can order something gluten-free, and I usually stick to those solitary items.  What can I say?  It’s challenging.

Recently, though, I took my son to an Italian restaurant.  We used to frequent this restaurant, he and I, back in the day before either of us had our respective run-ins with gluten.  As we were being seated, I wondered what in the world I would order, but was pleasantly surprised to find that this restaurant had recently added gluten-free pasta to the menu!  Wow, I thought. 

But then it dawned on me:  restaurants can offer gluten-free ANYTHING, and it’s not that hard.  If I can find it in every grocery store, then they can jolly well order it from Sysco, or wherever they order their food.  All I have to do is ask for it.  Supply and demand, right?

And then I flashed back to my friend and his impression of his Driver’s Ed teacher.  All we have to do is what I did when I was a vegetarian, and just asked for the vegetable plate!

And we should ALL do this.  Think about it:  What if we collectively and individually went to lunch tomorrow and each one of us marched into ANY restaurant and order the turkey sub on gluten-free bread, or the gyro on gluten-free pita, or a slice of pepperoni and mushroom on gluten-free crust?  And when the person taking our order looked at us blankly, we returned the blank stare with a hit of incredulity, and said, “What, you don’t have gluten-free options?” (like they had just told us they didn’t have a bathroom or napkins or oxygen or something).  And when they said no, we harrumphed and said, “Well, (whatever their competitor is) has it!” and walked out.  And if ALL of us did this at every restaurant, things would start changing.  And we would start a movement:  the gluten-free movement.  Except of course that has already started, but it definitely would get things moving forward a lot faster!